


If Only There Was More Time

by superfamily



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Sad, sad Steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-24 16:29:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15634449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superfamily/pseuds/superfamily
Summary: Steve Rogers regrets everything and it takes a death for him to realise that.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> THIS HAS CHARACTER DEATH. It does not explain how the death happened but you’ve been warned. I was feeling writing something a little more sad than normal, this was the outcome.

Tony’s face was pale, eyes closed shut, and hair perfectly formed to his usual styling. He was dressed nicer than his usual grease stained t-shirt, and jeans that were distressed from him wearing them in the lab so much. His hands laid one on top of the other in his lap, and you could almost hear his voice, his laugh, and the sarcasm that sparked from every sentence he said. 

It was an open casket, which in fact made it harder for the team. The team wasn’t full of criers, no one ever cried. Except for Peter, he was a crier. But on this specific day, Peter wasn’t the only one crying. It was everyone, for once, they just let it all out. 

Steve and Tony fought, they fought more than they’d like to admit. They ended on bad terms, and it was hard for both of them, but Steve didn’t realise that those two years of unspoken ideas, and a shitty flip phone he sent through the mail would be his biggest regret. 

Tony was beautiful, not only the ‘pretty playboy’ but his mind was beautiful. Sure it was filled with new Iron Man suit ideas, bad dreams, and a shit load of anxiety, but his humour could light up the whole room, his smarts could solve any issue and he could create anything out of nothing. And Steve recognised that. Sometimes his sketchbooks would be filled with drawings of Tony in his lab, or the workshop, grease across his face, and sleep deprivation in his eyes, but to Steve, he was just as beautiful. The grease showed how hardworking he was, and the sleep deprivation, while unhealthy, showed his dedication, and Steve thought those two traits were beautiful. 

His hand rested on the side of the casket, he looked down at the man, who he wished could just wake up, wished could build him a time machine so he could go back, and tell him how he really felt. 

In the two years Tony and Steve didn’t talk, Steve had written out text messages that he was too scared to actually send, messages saying he was sorry, that he wanted things to be the way they used to be. 

He let himself cry, let himself feel, let himself finally release all the feelings he’s ever felt, and he did it right in front of everyone. He cried while leaning over the casket, seeing Tony’s lifeless body lay in the silk lined casket ruined him, made him feel like it was his fault. 

“Steve? Come with me,” said Natasha as she laid a hand on his shoulder guiding him away from Tony. She brought him outside, and gave him a hug. Natasha Romanoff was not a hugger. Natasha Romanoff was an assassin, not a hugger. But at the same time, Steve Rogers is not a crier. Yet here they were, Steve Rogers crying in Natasha Romanoff's arms. 

“I should’ve told him.” 

“He knew. Tony always knew.” Natasha rubbed Steve’s back for comfort. 

“How do you know?” Steve asked.

“The way he looked at you, trust me. He loved you.” 

“I should’ve told him, I want to tell him,” Steve’s mind was racing with every moment they ever had together, the good, the bad, the ugly, and each one he wished he could relive just to see Tony once more, see him breathe, walk, and talk. 

“Then let’s go tell him.” 

Everyone watched Steve and Nat walk back inside, they saw Steve’s face, he was crying harder than he did at Peggy’s funeral. They walked up to Tony’s casket, and Natasha stood there with him the whole time, making sure Steve was not alone. 

He looked at the man, wanting so badly to kiss him, wanting so badly to apologise. He put his hand on top of Tony’s and allowed the tears to stream from his face. 

“I love you Anthony, and I should’ve told you while I had the chance—” he choked up on his words, 

“I just thought I had more time.” 

  
  



	2. If Only There Was More Time - Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to post this the other day but didn’t have time, due to me being at Comic Con all weekend. <3 so sorry xx

_ May 29, 2019- 1 week after Tony’s funeral _

“Steve dinner is here, we ordered pizza. Come on down and eat with us,” said Natasha as she walked into Steve’s room. Steve was sitting on his bed staring out the window that was parallel to him. Sat next to him on the bed laid the Iron Man helmet and connecting faceplate. 

“Steve? Come on, you have to eat something, be social, talk to us.” Nat sat next to Steve and waited for a response. 

“It’s his birthday today,” Steve responded, melancholy tone, and no emotion on his face. Just a blank stare out the window of the avengers facility. He always preferred the facility to the tower, they made so many memories at the facility. Ones he wanted to relive. 

“I know, we wanted to celebrate, you don’t have to join us if you don’t want to.” 

“I’m gonna stay here, tell everyone I’m sorry.” 

Natasha left the room knowing that all Steve needed was to be alone, the door shut behind her and Steve finally let the tears stream down his face with him wiping them once in a while. 

 

_ June 22, 2019- 1 month after Tony’s funeral _

The Avengers Facility had been pretty unorganised the last few months, with random boxes everywhere filled with parts, and most with old memories. Bruce wanted to get everything organised and away giving the facility more space, even though it was big enough as is.

The team had gathered together in the big storage closet going through each and every box. The first ones they came across were random art pieces that Tony refused to hang up, and some of the team’s old suits. 

Steve came across a large box, which had dents, and was partially falling apart. He ripped it open, pulling the tape off the top, he took the bubble wrap off the top and underneath was piles and piles of photos. Photos of the team, photos of some of the best memories they’ve ever made, and photos of Tony. Steve picked the first one he saw up, it was from about 4 years ago, Tony’s birthday party, he brushed his thumb over the picture, wishing he could touch Tony, and feel his presence.

The photo was of Tony and him laughing, they were drunk out of their minds, well Tony was that is. Steve started digging through the rest of the box, picking out random photos, admiring them, and wishing he could be back in those very moments. 

Natasha looked up from her box, and saw Steve, he had started to cry without even knowing it. 

“Hey guys maybe we can finish this later,” Nat suggested trying to help Steve. She was the only one who knew what he really was feeling. They rest of them understood he loved Tony, but not the extent Nat did. 

 

_ November 22, 2019- 6 months after Tony’s funeral _

Bruce was in Tony’s lab cleaning up and seeing what information he could find. He came across the Iron Man suit Tony was wearing when he died. Mark 50. It had only been messed with once; and that was to put it up in the hall of armours. He took the chip out of the suit, and finally decided to look at the footage. He put it in one of the computers, and played the footage of Tony right before he died. It was the footage of the inside of the helmet, it showed Tony’s face and you could hear the audio. 

It was just moments before he died, a tear, fell from his face. 

He muttered out some words, “Peter… I’m sorry, you— you were like a son to me.”

Bruce swallowed hard, seeing Tony like this, he knew he was going to die, his last words were to Peter, and that broke Bruce on the inside. He didn’t show his feelings towards Tony’s death too much besides the one hulking-out moment he had a few months ago, and he accidentally destroyed what seemed like every room in the Avengers facility.

Bruce was about to turn the footage off and return the chip to the archives when he heard Tony start to speak again,

“And… Steve Rogers… I— I love you,” Tony coughed out before he took his last breath. 

Bruce sighed, and headed for the door. 

In the common room, Steve sat on the couch sketching a picture, he was drawing Tony by memory, when Bruce walked in he stopped and put his pencil down.

“Hey Bruce, you need something?”

“Yeah yeah, can you quickly come to the lab, I have something to show you?” Bruce twiddled his fingers, and waited for a response. 

“Uh sure,” Steve put his notebook down and followed Bruce to Tony’s lab.

He walked in and took a deep breath, looking around at all of the technology Tony created, and what he was so fascinated with. 

Steve walked over to the computer where Bruce sat, and saw it paused on Tony’s face, Steve recognised the pain in Tony’s eyes. 

Bruce played the video back, Steve tried his hardest not to cry, until the words, “I love you” came out of Tony’s mouth. Those three words that were directed at Steve. 

A small smile spread across Steve’s face, knowing that Tony loved him too. 

 

_ May 22, 2020- 1 year after Tony’s funeral.  _

 

“Hey Steve, how you doing?” Asked Natasha as she walked into Tony’s old bedroom where Steve was. He was looking through Tony’s things, his clothing put away just the way he left it, and his favourite pair of shoes at the foot of the bed. 

“I’m… better.” Said Steve, he pulled out a small box from the nightstand. 

“What’s that?” Natasha sat down next to Steve, and looked over at the blue box, it was a little damaged, with a small layer of dust on the top of it. Steve took the lid off and found stacks of letters, all folded up with the words, 

“To: Steve” written on the front of each of them. 

“Oh my god, Steve, did you just find those?” Said Nat, she always made it a priority to check on Steve as much as possible. 

“Yeah. This is the first time I’ve been in his room since before the funeral.” He had a sad smile on his face, a smile that showed he missed Tony but was also happy, opening up the letters.

There was a letter for each day they weren’t in contact. For those two years of them not talking, Tony had written letters for Steve, with no intent that he’d actually read them.

“Natasha,” 

“Yeah?” She responded.

“I’m good, I’m really good. I’m gonna read these,” he smiled and opened up each letter in order. 

Steve only wanted more time, but he soon realised that time was never on his side, so he stayed there for hours reading hundreds of letters written on distressed paper, each one signed off with “Tony Stark.”

  
*so sorry if there are any errors*

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you’d like a follow up fic, maybe if Steve, post funeral, and how he’s coping.


End file.
